Happy Me

My ass has been a bit tender today. Not painful but just enough to remind me of last night every now and then.

So what happened last night?  After making me put in my brat butt plug in front of him (our new favorite thing) he teased me and made me wait as we watched TV.  After about an hour I was instructed to go upstairs, strip, lay on my stomach on the bed and wait for him.  It felt like ages until I heard him get up and go to our locked pantry of toys. I waited anxiously as I tried to guess what he was bringing over. Luckily,  he didn’t keep me waiting too long before I found myself tied up face down,  butt up with a pillow under my hips so I’d be more comfortable.   And then the ass beating began. To my relief he soon stopped spanking me to touch my dripping wet pussy.  I quickly came but he kept going and didn’t stop until I came again. After a few seconds to relax he informed me that my beating wasn’t quite done by practically slamming his palm onto my bare ass. After checking to make sure I was handling it OK he informed me that I would get six more. So I laid there tied up and counted as he spanked me with more force then ever before.  When he finished he pulled away and grabbed his phone and took a picture.  He then showed me my bright red, finger printed ass with my brat butt plug still in place.  Then he got the lotion out and rubbed it on my tender bottom to sooth me and laid with me for a few minutes as he brushed my hair back. I didn’t get to stay in my completely relaxed,  puddle like state for long though. It was his turn.   😉😄

So last night was great. D and I have been in a pretty good place over all.  He has been working up to and pushing my pain limits with our spankings. He has also started to rub lotion on my butt to comfort me afterwards. This has quickly become my favorite part. It completely and quickly puts me in a calm, happy, puddle-like state. We bought that brat butt plug not too long ago for longer term wear. I love the reminder that I’m his bratty girl.

Also does anyone out here know of a bdsm themed kik room/chat groups D and I or I could join? I think we could benefit from that.

I’ve definatly have been more laid back recently.  Finally I’ve been allowing D to take the reins and control our pace and actions when it comes to my submission instead of trying to push us to where I think we should be.   Suprise. Suprise. His way is much better. My man knows his girl.  I just had to let him show me.

 

 

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nothing

I haven’t really had anything to say on this blog for quite some time.  I do miss sharing with people at times, even if I don’t have much to say or say it well.  So what is new?  Not much.  D and I go in waves of lots of great sex to nothing at all.  My acceptance of this wavers as well.  We’ve had two times in the last month where we started to have sex but it just… was bad.  I couldn’t get out of my head and I’m not sure what was going on for him but we gave up.  So, that’s a new experience for me.  Not sure I mind.  In this same month we’ve also had some of our best sex.   Seriously guys, we got this bullet with a c-ring attachment.  Holy SHIT that this is amazing!  I got it at the sex toy party I had.  I also got.. PENIS LIPSTICK which I think is HILARIOUS!

My self-esteem is not stable lately.  D told me that he just isn’t turned on all the time and just doesn’t always want sex.  Which is quite the opposite for me.  If I’m not having sex, I feel ugly and angry and unloved.  I’ve tried talking to him about it, but… if someone isn’t interested in sex with you there isn’t much you can do.  We got in a HUGE fight because he didn’t respond when I sent him this..

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Turned out he never even got the text.  So I felt really dumb there.

If you couldn’t tell, I got a corset.  I feel sexy as all hell in it.

 

Wish I had the extra money to buy more.

So, to sum things up. Lately, I’ve been trying to come to terms with D’s lack of a sex drive.  It’s hard when I know that most other men would kill to be with someone who wants sex as often as I do.  If the roles were switched, I know I would be angry if he pestered me about it so I try not to but it is hard.  He has been trying to be more dominant lately.  Which is great.  I just wish he would stick to it. Or at least be consistent somewhat. I just have a hard time believing that he is really into it anymore.  He says he isn’t sure what to do but there is so much information online.  One web search and he would have everything he needs.  I love him.  I’m trying to accept things as they are.  It is hard.

I’ve been thinking about my own sexuality a bit more.  I’m defiantly more of a bratty submissive.  That’s been pretty well established.  But I think.. I could probably identify as a little.. Or I would if the whole “daddy” thing didn’t creep me out.  Not sure exactly what to do with that new information/thought.

Well, I’m off to finish my bowl of kief.  I’ll admit I’m hoping I can come up with real things to write about soon.

Love and sunshine to you all.

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Snow

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Hoping this wine and weed helps put me in a sleep coma so I don’t stay up all night worrying about D’s drive home in the snow. Sorry I’ve been pretty much awol. Lots going on. Not much to talk about on here.

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Frustrated

I’ve been so frustrated lately.

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So very very frustrated..

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I need to get fucked so badly it’s almost sad.

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It’s been like a month and a half and I’ve only had sex like three times.  It’s driving me insane!  Soon though.  Just have to wait for D to have a day off work…

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If you can’t tell.. I’m pretty damn horny today.  It’s driving me crazy.  I think I miss the spankings the most..

At least I can get high!  😀

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Sick of Hiding

I’m sick of hiding myself from those around me.  On here I get to be anonymous.  I get to say yes I AM a feminist. I DO believe in the power of medical marijuana and that it should be legal. I DO smoke pot. And I do it every single night.  I DO use and love my Tarot Cards.  I do believe that there is truth in all religions. I AM pro-choice. I don’t have that freedom in real life.  Correction. I don’t feel like I have that freedom in real life.

Why should I have to hide my beliefs and feelings from others? If I’m not offended by their ideas why should mine be so offensive to them? Do I care? Should I care?

Why do I have to hide my spirituality and religious beliefs from my family? Why do I find myself being vague when the subject of God and Christianity comes up with my very Christian sister.  Why  don’t I want my mother knowing about my Tarot Cards and Crystals?  What is the worst that could happen from that?  We have an argument? She stops talking to me?  Would she do that or is that my paranoia?  At least I know why I have to hide my marijuana use from most people.  Sadly, it isn’t legal yet in my state.

I’m just sick of hiding.

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Hello friends! I am at peace lately. It’s nutty.

I’ve been doing yoga which is fun. Correction. I’ve been smoking then doing yoga and that is fun!

I got one of those vibrating butt plugs which freaked me out at first but WOW do I enjoy it! My friend and I went to the adult store and she got one for her boyfriend too.  I wish I could better remember the specifics of the first time D and I used it so I can tell you all in detail. But I can’t which sucks. Anyway.. I do remember this..

I was ass up while he switched between spanking me and rubbing my clit. Then he told me I was a whore and asked whose whore I was. I orgasmed just as I was responding that I was his whore.

I don’t know why but that gets me every time.

Its Valentines Day and I’m stuck house sitting for my parents. No fun. But I got to talk to my younger sister about feminism and politics and all that and I loved it. She’s pretty awesome.

Now if only I could sleep…

oh yea! I finally watched Star Wars. I don’t know why I waited this long! I loved it!

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I’m SO Boring

You can blame The Unfortunate Virgin for this post. He reminded me that I’ve been really quiet lately.  Sadly, I don’t have a real excuse.  D and I have been weirdly good lately.  I feel weirdly connected with him lately but it makes me more nervous than comfortable.  So I don’t have really much to update there. Plus, sadly I had a long period where I just wasn’t caring if we had sex or not.  Starting to get out of that now thankfully.

I’ve also seemed to just really have gotten into smoking weed.  I finally figured out how to roll joints.  I haven’t had one of those since the first time I ever smoked. I know. I know.  It’s lame! I also am expecting a 420 Goody Box this month. I’m pretty excited.

In all honestly… I’ve been really boring lately. That’s why I haven’t posted.  It just sucks!

And wow.. This post is boring!  I keep getting distracted by My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic.  It really is a good show.

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I think I learned something…

..about myself.

The only real difference between medicated me and non medicated me is that when I’m on medicine I actually like people. And when I’m off medicine I randomly drop my diet caffeinated soda (coke zero) addiction. (Haven’t wanted it at all. Tried a sip and it was gross. I couldn’t even finish it.)

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I finally…

…got myself a good spanking. Probably would have been good with more but it’s a good start.  It looked even redder in person.  I had the best orgasm after this.
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Right now I’m just sitting here smoking… Wishing someone was here. I want sex.

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TMI Tuesday: September 9, 2014

All Up In Your Business…

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1. What is the one word, in your vocabulary, that you use excessively? Don’t know…ask your friends and family.

I asked D and he said it was “um..”  He is probably right. My words get mumbled or I can’t think of the right word or it takes me awhile for my mouth to let it come out so I end up saying um.. until I can say it…

2. If you had to have a sex change, what part of your body would you want enhanced more than anything else?

I guess I would want to make my penis big? Honestly, I don’t know.  All I know was if I was a guy the first thing I would do is pee outside. The second thing I’d do is fuck someone.

3. You are not having a sex change, what part of your body do you want enhanced?

My hips. I’d want them more.. hippy? round? Something like that.

4. When was the last time you felt possessive about someone?

I don’t know… I always feel very protective of my one friend (forget if I talked about her before but from now on I’ll call her My Love because she is my love. haha).. But i’m not sure if that counts.. I get jealous or anxious when friends or crushes don’t talk to me as much or are talking to someone else more.

5. When was the last time you got a wedgie and had to remove it in public?

Honestly, I don’t remember..

6. If the world froze for an afternoon and only you could move and no one could see you or remember what you did, what would you do?

I’d get everyone naked (that I’d want to see naked). I’m nosy and would want to see almost anyone naked out of curiosity (excluding family and kids of course but that’s obvious).

Bonus: What is your favorite sex toy of 2014?

of 2014? I don’t know but my butt plug is my current favorite that I own.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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